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A quick guide when you’re feeling down
I’ve spent the last week in a funk. I’m not going to use the term depression because I don’t have a history or knowledge of it but I would say I wasn’t my ‘normal’ self. The problem I found was feeling lost (lacking direction or purpose) but lacking the energy to make positive changes, feeling overwhelmed by simple, small tasks for seemingly no reason, and then having negative self-talk over that. It’s a vicious cycle. You need to find some strength to break it, you need to have belief in yourself that you can. I lived through the week and tested out various ideas, some worked some didn’t but the guide below is what I found to be most helpful, something that I’ll happily reference it again if I find myself back there.
1/ What makes you happy?
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So the normal things aren’t working, your joy is gone but what DID make you happy? If you can list a few things, you’ve got a tiny road map back, a future plan, even if you can’t implement it right now. Maybe your list is small or nonexistent – this could begin a dialogue of searching for things that might potentially lead to a new life journey. Exciting ๐ Don’t put the pressure on yourself to be immediately back to your old self, know this is a journey you’re on.
2/ Do something
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Are there little tasks you need to complete but they feel super overwhelming? I had to pay a bill that required a few complicated steps. I’d already put it off the day before and the amount of headspace it occupied (looking back) was utterly ridiculous. The next day, I told myself to just do it. So I did and it was completely do-able, it was the thought and guilt for not doing it that was the soul sucker. Remember to not negative self-talk but feel proud for accomplishing something.
3/ Give yourself the gift of nothing
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Don’t judge yourself for feeling overwhelm. You want to be doing something but you can’t, so do the thing you think you shouldn’t be doing. Nothing. Gift it to yourself. My gift was a hot bath where I had a flood of creative ideas. Previously I’d been sitting in front of my computer feeling bad for โwastingโ away a day. I fought with myself over the bath, โthat’s so indulgent, you’ve already had a whole indulgent dayโ but the bath was different, it was deliberate and chosen. I’m not going to guarantee you’ll be flooded with inspiration or good vibes but it’s an acknowledgment that you care enough about yourself to gift it something positive. It’s an acknowledgment that it’s okay to do nothing and that growth can come from downtime. Could it also be possible that how you feel right now is your body asking you to kindly step back, slow down and be present?
4/ Talk to someone
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If you find positive self talk hard, can you talk to someone who loves you, who is guaranteed to throw some good vibes your way? If you don’t have someone, open a blank page and just write out everything you’re feeling, without judgment. Get it out of your head – unburden yourself.
5/ It will pass
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Waves, it’s all about those waves in life. Remember back to a time you felt down. Did you stay in it forever? Hopeful not, the clouds parted and you re-emerged. If happiness found you once before there’s a very high chance it will find you again. I remember Leo Babauta writing about the ability to just accept each moment, without wishing it would be different, what an amazing skill to acquire. I’m personally still working on that one!
I’m in no way advocating a program for those suffering from depression. I believe the best step there is to seek expert advice and have a tailored made approach for you. I wanted to address the little downs and offer a roadmap that helped me and could potentially help you.ย
I also wanted to say you’re not alone and it will pass ๐
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